Fear of Success

It sounds almost unreasonable, to be afraid of completing a goal, but it is sometimes THE BIGGEST thing holding us back.

As we begin the new year, we are faced with many new things beginning and re-beginning for another year.

But Beginnings can be the hardest part of any endeavor. This is because once begun there is no reason why we can't complete it.

It's a fact and it's scary!

There is no reason why we can't lose those last 5, 10, 20 ... pounds, there is no reason why we can't get our Associates, Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate, Second Doctorate ... no reason why we can't run a 5K, a 10K, a Half-Marathon, a Full, an Ultra ... no reason why we can't reach the summit on Machu Picchu, Kilimanjaro, Everest or any mountains in between.

The truth is that nothing is beyond our reach if we just begin it.

The end of it is inside our heads.

We don't stop losing weight until we decide to not eat how we know we should be eating, we don't stop learning until we decide to stop studying, we don't stop running or climbing until we decide that we can't take the next step. The choice is inside our heads.

But if you tell yourself you can ... if you hold you on to the absolute certainty of success ... if you never let it go even at the darkest moments ... THEN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN STOP US!

Because in the end ... if we do not reach up to grasp the heavens then there is no way for us to land amongst the stars (paraphrasing Les Brown)

Never say you can't!

I was checking out my google reader when I saw that Mel at 2nd Chances posted an Inspiration Showcase: Episode 3 Whatever It Takes about Margaret Hagerty who holds the Guinness World Record for the oldest person to have completed a marathon on each of the seven continents at 81 years, 101 days



Do whatever it takes to get over the Hump-Day!

Eliza

13.1 Afterthoughts: A Moment of Doubt

Training Completed.

Race Run.

Milestone Reached.

Bucket List Item Checked.

So now what?

It still feels too soon to start running again today although I know I should probably get out there for a short easy run to loosen up the tightness.

But I'm having trouble getting motivated today.

Actually, I've been feeling a little different since I crossed the finish line ... and not in a good way.

It was very anti-climatic.

Now, don't get me wrong. I know what I did was a great feat of traveling 13.1 under my own power. It's taken me alot to get here and I am darned proud of getting it done! The race was challenging but it did not break my mind or my spirit! I can now say I am stronger than 13.1 Miles!

But as soon as I finished, I realized there was a monster that looms around the corner.

It remained hidden behind the 13.1 because this race came first and I needed to stay focused but now what lies ahead is:


This one I am pretty much doing alone.

My running buddies are excited about doing the ING too but the Half Marathon, they don't think they are ready for the Full yet.

AND WHAT MAKES ME THINK I AM!?!

I do know two people who are doing the Full, both acquaintances. One has done lots of marathons before and the other signed up last year and turned at the 13.1 cross over and he has been running and doing TRIS for a while.

WHAT MAKES ME THINK I CAN DO THIS!?!

I keep telling myself if the day comes and I don't think I'm ready I can take the turn at 13.1 and live to fight another day ... BUT I DON'T WANT THAT!?!?!

Then I remember:

I have never been the ATHLETE!
I have never been the Lithe Thin Svelte one!
I'm the RUNT OF THE LITTER!
The Chubby Chic!
What am I doing here? Standing at this point, signed up for a Marathon in 11 Weeks.
I HAVE NO RIGHT!?!

... and of course in your darkest moments the light reaches you:

I AM A RUNNER!
By John Bingham, aka “The Penguin”

I am a runner because my runs have names. I do tempo runs and threshold runs and fartlek runs. I do long, slow runs and track workouts. My runs are defined, even if my abs are not.

I am a runner because my shoes are training equipment, not a fashion statement. The best shoe for me is the one that makes me a better runner. I choose the shoe that goes with my running mechanics, not with my running outfit.

I am a runner because I don’t’ have running outfits. I have technical shirts and shorts and socks. I have apparel that enhances the experience of running by allowing me to run comfortably. I can say “Coolmax” and “Gore-tex” in the same sentence and know which does what.

I am a runner because I know what effort feels like, and I embrace it. I know when I’m pushing the limits of my comfort and why I’m doing it. I know that heavy breathing and an accelerated heart rate – things I once avoided – are necessary if I want to be a better runner.

I am a runner because I value and respect my body. It will whisper to me when I’ve done too much. And if I choose to listen to that whisper, my body won’t have to scream in pain later on.

I am a runner because I am willing to lay it all on the line. I know that every finish line has the potential to lift my spirits to new highs or devastate me, yet I line up anyway.

I am a runner because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far.

I am a runner because I say I am. And no one can tell me I’m not.

Still have my doubts! I am still afraid! But this CHUBBY CHIC is going doing FIGHTING!?!?!?!

Moving Right Along

Last night, I ended up doing my run at the park near my mom's house where I was hoping to do 4 of my planned 6 miles.

When I got there the weather seemed foreboding. It wanted to rain but was holding back it's fury. Further backing me to shorten my run.

I stretched for a minute, not paying much attention to the small slender man stretching next to me and finished quickly and started off.

I heard a mumble and took out my Ipod to listen.

The slender man had asked me how many I would be doing today.

"Six" I blurted, surprising myself!

My frontal lobe had no intention of doing six miles but I guess my subconscious had other plans.

"Then I should run with you" he laughed a bit.

I smiled and moved right along into my 1/4 mile warm up. The park is a full mile loop so when I reached my starting mark, I shot off.

Did my first mile in 10:32. On target, but once I finished it I had to walk for a bit. I pushed a little harder than I should right off the bat but then again, I always do. I walked about a 1/10 of a mile before getting started again during with the slender man passed me and waved to get me going. Next mile was 13:16 because of it and the fact that my ipod died in the middle of it (I am getting more used to running without it but some days you just need it to get you going!). Then I picked it up again for mile 3, in my head it would be my last mile so I figured what the heck and I finished it at 10:35.

But then as I finished my 3rd mile, the slender man caught up with me and started talking so I started jogging easily with him. He had finished his planned four miles and asked me what mile I was on. I told him I needed 3 more and he nodded a small nod and kept on with me.

We got to talking and it turns out he is signed up for the ING Miami too. He was surprised when I told him I was running only 10 miles this weekend but I told him it would grow quickly which seemed to releave his concern a bit. Then he asked why I was running my longish run so close to my long-long run (That's runner's terminology I swear :). I was sad to admit the week had gotten away from me and I had moved my planned runs around to accommodate.

Then he proceed to tell me I had run my first mile a little too fast and how I should space my runs and do a shorter run before my long-long run and all sorts of other advice that you can only get from someone that's been there before!

It was wonderful!

We finished off the last 3 miles and I did finish my 6 mile run all with my marathon pace and while talking and not noticing. Also, I didn't need to stop and drink water, which surprised me and reinforced that I need to drink water throughout the day (it obviously worked!)

Afterward, we stretched a bit and SUDDENLY, in an instant, the sky opened up and it was a FULL ON RAIN STORM!

I hastily waved "good bye" and told him it was great to run with him as we ducked into my cars to escape the SUDDEN DOWNPOUR!

You gotta love South Florida!

Afterward, I went to Mom's and had dinner and we pulled out the old photo boxes :)

Here's Mom tying my shoe before I head off running :)

Today I'm going to take it easy and do some upper body/core work and am listening to 50/50: Secrets I Learned Running 50 Marathons in 50 Days -- and How You Too Can Achieve Super Endurance!

Just to note: We are 22 days away from my first half marathon and the full has now gone into double digits at 99 days away!

Happy Friday!

A Friday Frought With Questions

I feel tired. I feel run down.

Am I taking on more than I can chew? Maybe.

Can I do this? ABSOLUTELY!

Are you certifiably insane? Probably but what's life without a little insanity in it? :)

What exactly am I doing you say?

I have set new goals.

1 - I want to go back to school. I want to get my Masters in MIS.

2 - I have decided that ultimate fitness goal is an IRON MAN 70.3

3 - I want to actually follow my fitness plan for the Half-Marathon and not feel the regret of "shoulda-coulda-woulda" on race day.

Hence, yesterday I decided (as I usually do which means instantly and on a whim) that I needed to take the G.R.E. by the end of this year.

Do I have enough time? Yes, They recommend about 3 months.

Am I ready? I am quite overdue considering next year I will be 10 years from my College Graduation.

But wait, aren't you an English Major? Yes, but I do have an innate ability with computers and management that I am going to capitalize on.

Also, using visualization, I decided that I am going to get a 750.

Is that overly ambitious? Sure. But if you don't shoot for the stars how are you ever going to land among the clouds.

My decision about the Iron Man 70.3 also came as usual but has lingered. This is a gift I want to give myself. I have endevored to do crazy and insane things before but this one I have no doubt in my mind that I can complete (something that doesn't happen often).

How are you going to do it? One step at a time. First my half-marathon, then a Full marathon, then my first triathlon, then longer distances until I make it to IRON MAN 70.3. I will follow my plan and make it there.

Yesterday, I really didn't feel like working out. I really wanted to skip out!

Did I do it anyway? YES!

Did I follow my plan? Yes and no. I did do 3 miles but instead of running I speed walked with my co-worker which did two things: I did need to ease off a little bit (but I did do the fastest walking of my life) and as it turns out my co-worker needed a motivational boost having me chase her on the speed walk ... so I am thinking I score one on the Karma board :)

Today I am scared of my 5 mile run. I feel a dull soreness all over and still feel run down. Also, I have plans this evening and I am afraid I will ditch it but I don't want to! I don't want this long weekend to wreck havoc on my plan.

I'm going to try having something that will boost my energy levels for lunch.

What is that, you ask? I HAVE NO IDEA but wish me luck!

Wishing everyone a wonderful long weekend!

“If” by Rudyard Kipling

“If” by Rudyard Kipling

I found the poem, “If” by Rudyard Kipling on Youtube read by Roger Federer & Rafael Nadal. If you’re looking for a bit of motivation, check this out.



IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Have a great day!

2009 Mid Year Review

Well, today is the exact day in the middle of the year.

There are 181 days behind us and 181 days before us in this fine year of 2009.

So I've decided to do a re-cap of my goals and see how I've been doing:

Health:

• Run the 7 Mile Bridge Done April 25th ... set a PR too.
  
• Run a sub-35 5k
• Run a Half-Marathon
• Pass the A.P.F.T.
  • 17 Push-Up: I can do it!
    
  • 45 Sit-Up: Working on it!
    
  • 2 Mile in 20:30 min: Almost there!
    
• Pass the FBI P.F.T.
• 22 Push-Up
• 300 Meters in 60 sec
  
• 50 Sit-Up
  
• 1.5 Mile in 12:59 min

Financial:

• Decrease Liability by $5,000 - Very close!
• Pay off Blue Credit Card Completely - Very close!
  
• Start an Emergency Fund and save enough to cover 3 months of bills
  

Career:

• Do the best work that I can
• Merit a raise
• Figure out if I want to go back to school
  

Relationships:

• Love my friends/loved ones unconditionally
• Be more social

Knowledge:

• Learn to ride a Bicycle
• Practice/Learn to Swimming
  
• Study C#
  

Spiritual:

• Read one motivational book a month (or Audio Book) - Been keeping up with this one
  
• Make an effort to be more positive - Been trying and it's been changing my perspective :)
  

Travel:

• Go to Saint Petersberg, FL Done - January
  
• Go to Austin, TXDone - March
• Go to New Orleans, LA Done - May
• Go on a Trip for Thanksgiving or Christmas (not sure where yet ... maybe New York at Christmas! :)
  

Exploratory:

• Do a Photo shoot See it Here
  
• Record 3 live songs Hear it Here
  
• Play at a Live Venue

Not bad ... but still got a lot to do and plan for!

Have a great day!

How dare you not be the best you can be!?!

So great I had to share!

--

Our Deepest Fear -- by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

T-3 Days :: Tour of the Gables 5K

T-3 Days and counting.

I am concerned.

I try to relieve my concern by thinking (1) it's just a 5K and that's only 3.1 miles, that is do-able (2) I can walk with my mom and just do a mother-daughter bonding time (3) my knee hasn't hurt in almost a week.

BUT ... then I think ... (1) you haven't walked/run/worked out in over a week (2) I am feeling like I was hit by a 16 wheeler for said period of the last week (3) my mom has been working out and is probably running at the race (4) I was hoping to get an accurate measure of my 5K PR for this race.

I hate that part of me. The part that counteracts any positive thinking I can muster throughout the day.

I read over my list of favorite quotes for inspiration and one sticks out.

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

Have a great day!

Seeking Inspiration

I'm feeling a little low.

I have a knee injury, although minor it seems to be. I have been instructed to take a few days off, ice it, keep it elevated and keep my weight off it. I am also starting a regiment of
Glucosamine Chondroitin & MSMfor a bit of joint protection in the future.

I guess that's good news but I haven't had a good work out since Thursday and it looks like I will be out until this Thursday. Putting it in perspective it really only is a week but coming off the 7 Mile Bridge Race, The Corporate Run and a week long vacation ... I feel like I haven't been "training" in over a month and it has thrown me off my 1000 Miles in 2009 Goal (which has me a little bummed).

So I am searching for inspiration in the blogs of my contemporaries ... and I think I found some :)





Special thanks to http://howmanymiles.org/

Favorite Running Quotes

"For me, like so many others, running is the answer. Out on the road it is just you, the pavement, and your will."
–John Bingham

"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness." -Edward Stanley

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it." -Plato

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

"If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Running long and hard is an ideal antidepressant, since it's hard to run and feel sorry for yourself at the same time. Also, there are those hours of clearheadedness that follow a long run."
-Monte Davis

"After a week of the contained chaos that is my job, I need some solitary running time. On Sundays, I can unwind and reconnect with the natural world."
- Linda Jones

"Many people shy away from hills. They make it easy on themselves, but that limits their improvement. The more you repeat something, the stronger you get."
- Joe Catalano

"Methinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow."
- Henry David Thoreau

"It is better, I think, to begin easily and get your running to be smooth and relaxed and then to go faster and faster."
- Henry Rono

"If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion."
- Robert Pirsig


"Life is complicated. Running is simple. Is it any wonder that people like to run?"
- Kevin Nelson, The Runner's Book of Daily Inspiration

"Running gives me confidence."
- Steve Prefontaine

"Running should be a lifelong activity. Approach it patiently and intelligently, and it will reward you for a long, long time."
- Micheal Sargent

"Play not only keeps us young but also maintains our perspective about the relative seriousness of things. Running is play, for even if we try hard to do well at it, it is a relief from everyday cares."
- Jim Fixx

"Keep varying the program. Your body will tell you what to do."
- Joan Benoit Samuelson

"To get to the finish line, you'll have to try lots of different paths."
- Amby Burfoot

"Spend at least some of your training time, and other parts of your day, concentrating on what you are doing in training and visualizing your success."
- Grete Waitz